Anjuelle Floyd's The House

My guest today is Anjuelle Floyd, author of The House. Welcome to the blog, Anjuelle.  


Tell us a little about yourself.

I actually grew up in North Carolina, attended the University of North Carolina @ Chapel Hill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina where I met my husband on my first day at college, and graduated Duke University in Durham, North Carolina.
I married in 1982 when I graduated Duke with a Bachelor of Health Science Degree with a certificate in Medical Technology. I then moved to Boston, Massachusetts where I worked in a HLA Lab typing organs for transplantation, and then a Blood Bank while my husband studied medicine.
I remained in Boston for nearly a decade while my husband did a surgical internship and then entered a residency for urology.

I gave birth to our first child while in Boston. I also made the decision to become a stay-at-home mother.
In 1991 we moved here to Oakland, California where I gave birth to our second and middle and then our last and youngest child.

At the outset of my second pregnancy I entered graduated school studying psychology. In 1995 I graduated the California Institute of Integral Studies 1995 with a MA in Psychology and in 1999 became licensed to practice Marriage and Family Therapy. It was during this time that I studied Old Testament Literature at the Dominican School of Philosophy and Theology in Berkeley, California.

I gave birth to our third and last child one month before sitting for my oral exams towards licensure.

My education and work experiences in Boston provided me a professional understanding of medicine and the anxieties people face when patients or they have family members in the hospital. That my husband was studying surgery provided and even deeper and more specialized understanding of medicine--both professional and personal.
During our last year in Boston, I and our daughter accompanied my husband to Ahmedabad and Nadiad, India in the state of Gujurat, where at the Mujibhai Patel hospital my husband assisted staff surgeons and performed urologic surgery. During the 6 weeks there we also travelled to Mt. Abu in the state of Rajasthan, the capitol, Delhi, and the Taj Mahal in Agra. While there I read The Psychic Being by Sri Aurobindo and The Mother. Our time in India stirred my spiritual longings.
I had always held an interest in psychology. Growing up in the Southern United States also gave me an interest in understanding human individuals and myself. When I became a stay-at-home mother in Boston, I began to read Freud and Jung. Moving to Oakland in Northern California, a bedrock of self-introspection in America enlivened my interest in studying psychology. But I also have this spiritual side. California Institute of Integral Studies, founded by Haridas Chaudhuri, allowed me the opportunity to study psychology along with taking courses in Eastern Philosophy.
It was during this time that attended The Dominican School of Philosophy and Theology. I wanted to study the Christian literature of the Bible while I was studying the Buddhist texts of the Kama Sutra, and the Hindu texts of The Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads.
My three years at The California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco, CA was like being on a spiritual retreat. It was also challenging since I was wife and mother of two young children. I had to take my child, two at the time, to school and then to the baby sitter before heading to my classes in San Francisco.

I worked really hard.
Studying psychology gave me a strong background for developing characters. That I also studied various spiritualities and religions gave me the understanding of how a person’s spirituality and religious beliefs, or lack thereof, reveal another important aspect of personality and character that provides the basis for plot.

What books came along at just the right time to influence your reading/writing?

I have several books that have inspired me and influenced my writing. he one that stands out from some time back is A Sin of Color by Sunetra Gupta. I also have to say that The Inheritance of Loss by Kirin Desai comes in at a tight second.

These two books explore aspects of life for which words most often provide insufficient demonstration and explanation.

Sunetra Gupta and Kirin Desai craft scenes containing action, dialogue and setting that show long distances the heart and soul travels within myriad interactions with those we most love and least understand.

In short, they explore alienation at its deepest core, the disconnect that most often lies between family members, unspoken and many times unacknowledged, but all the more present and palpable--and how we are made better or worse or left unchanged by these experiences.

What is your most rewarding experience during the writing process?

I write full-time a luxury provided by work as a stay at home mom and my husband’s unfailing support of my art and business.

NOJ Publications produced The House. N-O-J is Jon spelled backwards. My husband read The House and said, “This is good! It needs to be published.”

“I’m not about to waste your money and my time seeking representation from an agent or the attention of a publisher,” I responded. “The economy is terrible, the state of publishing even worse. No one is buying manuscripts, and certainly not from an unknown like me.” With tongue and cheek I then said, “The only way this story will go public is through self-publication.”

“Then I’ll self-publish it,” said my husband.

His words placed the onus on me. Refusing to look a gift horse in the mouth I took hold of the opportunity to publish with my husband supplying the funds. That was two years ago. I did not always know where I was going with this project of both writing The House while at the same time seeking out and nurturing ways of promoting and marketing it. But here I am with The House having debuted in October 2010, reviewers liking it and connecting with more readers in this interview.

It’s magical.

Tell us more about The House. Is it available in print, ebook, and Kindle formats?

The House is a work of Women’s Fiction that explores the life of Anna Manning when on receiving the divorce she has requested and the opportunity to see their home, she learns that her husband of over 3 decades is dying.
The underlying theme of The House is that all of us hold regret for one action or another that we have committed. And if given the chance we would change or alter that action or make another choice. As such we are all seeking forgiveness.

All of us have injured someone. And all of us have experienced emotional hurt.

And yet ultimately our salvation, our ability to transcend the wounds and turmoil of this life rest in the co-creative hands of others and ourselves in our ability to seek atonement for the wrongs we have committed, particularly to those we love and who love us, and in our ability to forgive.

The House is available at your local bookstore, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0978796721/httpanuellec-20
Barnes&Noble.com

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-House/Anjuelle-Denise-Floyd/e/9780978796723/

Readers can also purchase signed copies @ my website.

http://www.anjuellefloyd.com/books/the-house/

What are your protagonist’s strengths? Flaws?

Anna is a devoted and loving mother as well as a committed wife.

And yet she has difficulty receiving love and remaining comfortable in experiencing passion. In a strange way she thinks she does not deserve happiness.

Anna’s mother, Elena, was emotionally distant. That she marries Edward, who holds his own secret hurts is not coincidence. I wonder if Anna, when she was in her twenties, could have accepted Inman and all he had to offer.

Anna is very similar to the description she gives Inman of Millicent’s mother, Henrietta Regarde. Hearing Inman’s story pierces the surface of Anna’s defenses.

With Edward gone in the wake of his quiet penitence and regret she can but look within. The distant stance she takes with Inman provides space and time within which to examine herself, something she has not had the luxury of doing here-to-fore. Prior to Inman Anna was busy being either someone’s daughter, husband, mother or all three.

It is amazing what we as women can recognize about ourselves when confronted with acceptance and love despite our foibles.

And yet often times this does kind of heart jolting and transformative experience does not often come until we are older.

Again, as with Anna, I wonder if somehow wifedom and motherhood hold the ability to prime us for surrendering to this when presented, or if perhaps it is but a matter of age, that for all individuals kneads our defenses leaving us little, if any, energy to fight and resist accepting that which for which we have always longed.

In many ways, Inman as Anna’s friend and lover was the mother for whom she had yearned.

Do you have specific techniques you use to develop the plot and stay on track?

Upon graduating my MFA program I began exploring various ways and methods for planning out my stories and novels, but that also left enough undiscovered territory that I gained even more excitement to write the story. I wanted to develop or find an outline that fueled my desire to write, not take it away with planning to point of leaving no mystery.

The Franklin Outline as explained in Writing For Story did that for me.

A requirement of the class is to use Franklin’s Outline or some variation thereof to plan a story or novel and then write the story or beginning of the novel, about 10,000 words.

Creating characters has always been easy. Developing a way to keep the story moving and not bogged down in dispensing information about a protagonist’s personality has presented my greatest challenge.

Plotting stories is where my growth points lay, most specifically deciding where and when to dispense what knowledge, as deemed by the action, interaction and conflict at hand.

The Franklin Outline cleared the path for me to write by giving me a road map, while leaving the territory untouched.

Following the blueprint I created for my story, I simply wrote plot--action, what was happening, the cause-and-effect movement of the narrative. Unlike with other stories I had written I uncovered or rather realized the personalities of my characters along the way as I wrote. This is much like what readers experience when reading a good story.

The writer does not throw at readers everything about characters all at once. Rather she or he drops breadcrumbs as demanded by the action in scenes. The action in scenes is essentially plot.

Since writing The House I have modified my method for sketching stories and novels, but Jon Franklin’s Method of outlining a work of fiction sits at the heart of how I plan.

The Franklin outline helps me chart where the story is destined, and yet I have no idea the roads that the story will take in getting there--i.e. discovery.

This makes writing less stressful and fun and ultimately allows me to write more deeply of the places action and experiences my protagonist undergoes along the journey.

How does your environment/upbringing color your writing?

Growing up in North Carolina, not far from you, Susan, on a farm between Faison and Clinton, North Carolina provided me a lot of freedom to think and be with myself. My paternal grandfather purchased the farm a 300-acre farm that my paternal grandfather had purchased 2 years after my father’s birth. I grew up on land that carried a lot of personal history. Often I would accompany my father into corn and tobacco fields. I also roamed the woods with my dog, Benji.
My time in North Carolina gave me an experience of being with older individuals who bestowed much wisdom simply by being in the presence. I was extremely close with my maternal grandmother. Unfortunately my paternal grandmother died 5 months after my birth.
My maternal grandmother lived seven miles from my home on the farm in Faison, North Carolina. My mother was an elementary school teacher. My father was a farmer. Until I reached age five I spent weeks during the school year with my grandmother. My mother would bring me home for the weekends.

My grandmother graduated finishing school at the turn of the century. She had been trained to teach. But instead of going out and teaching she married and began a family. She had a great love of reading.
In the summers I would spend various weeks with my grandmother. Granny’s home was really a kind of second home. She lived until I was 21 years old and wonderfully before dying, she met my husband. Life moved very slowly in rural North Carolina. My maternal grandmother had this small bookshelf--it was big to me--lined with books. As a child I used to sit on the carpet going through those books. Those books spanned many genres. She also subscribed to Jet and Ebony Magazines. I spent many days and afternoons reading those books and magazines.
This was all great preparation for writing. My grandmother also told me stories about her family, most of whom were deceased. She gave me a great love of family, family connections and stories.
As a child I loved reading Nancy Drew Mysteries that revealed my love for wanting to figure things out. Reading mysteries helps you to learn plot. I still love reading mysteries, particularly Victorian mysteries. I spent this past year reading the first 5 novels of Anne Perry’s William Monk Mysteries. I love the way Anne Perry interweaves authorial narrations with character dialogue. Her physical descriptions of characters reveal much of the character’s personality.

Any current projects?

I’m in the middle of the 9th revision of a novel I wrote in 2001, entitled Seasons in Purdah. During NaNoWriMo 2010 (November 2010) I wrote my novel, yet untitled, for this year 2010. I write a novel each year during the fall. On completion of that first draft, I lay it aside and begin revising the novel I wrote either the previous year or as in this case the one I wrote in 2001.

Seasons in Purdah chronicles for one year the plight of a woman who has lost her sight and how her efforts to help a man dying of AIDS assist her in adjusting to her blindness and gaining new perspective and insight on her husband and herself.



Where can folks learn more about your books and events?

http://www.anjuellefloyd.com/


I'm doing a series of interviews with blog talk radio hosts, Twitter Chats and Book Chats this month and into February 2011.

I also host a weekly blog talk radio show, "Book Talk, Creativity & Family Matters"

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/anjuellefloyd

Anjuelle, it has been great to get to know you better. Best of luck with all endeavors!

Raven Bower's Apparitions

My guest today is Raven Bower, author of Apparitions and soon-to-release Wendigo. Welcome and Happy New Year, Raven. Please tell us about your writing goals.

Thanks, Susan. My main goal with writing is simple in that I want to be the very best writer I can be. Yet it’s complex in that the goal requires constant assessment of my writing (which is sometimes hard to do!) and the pursuit of gaining more and more knowledge to apply to my writing. It’s a never-ending goal!

What is your most rewarding experience during the writing process?

Readers. I love readers and people of all sorts and being an author has granted me the ability to meet so many wonderful people. From the fantastic people in the writing realm to the astute and vibrant readers I’ve been able to exchange thoughts and stories with.

I also write screenplays and that’s given me the opportunity to meet some dedicated folks in the local movie industry. It’s been grand fun seeing ‘behind the scenes’ up close and personal. Though, I often feel sorry for them having to deal with all my questions and curiosities.

Tell us about your  books. Available in print, ebook, and Kindle formats?

My first book, Apparitions, is a genre mix of supernatural suspense and romance with some dark elements thrown in there. It’s available in print and ebook. Wendigo, which is Book Two of the series will be released in ebook format Jan/Feb of 2011 and print in May/June.

Were any of your books more challenging to write than the others? If so, why?

Yes. Oh yes. To date I’ve written five books, three of which are at various stages in the publication process and two screenplays, one of which is under production.

By far the most challenging was the first fantasy book I wrote and ended up trashing after a year and a half of toil. Contrary to what many seem to believe, fantasy is a very exacting genre and the author needs not only a ton of information that isn’t necessary in other forms of writing but they need to build an entire world – from scratch. It’s a world building intense genre and believe me, if the writer doesn’t have their world and ‘rules’ down darn good before they start – wow it can be just…yeah. Bad.

That said, it was a learning experience and this time it’s getting done the right and patient way of ensuring a smooth and magical story for the reader. Granted perhaps my multitude of maps and graphs and uhm…half a wall of binders full of information and world building might be going overboard but hey, better too much information and tools than too few!

How do you develop characters? Setting?

Mmm most excellent question. I don’t suppose carefully will do? * winks *
I’m a character writer and hold to the idea that plot is character and character is plot. For me the two can’t be separated. So, creating characters is a focal point of mine. I’ve developed a character sheet that asks questions that I need to know in order to delve deep into the characters and bring them to the reader in living, breathing color. I spend a lot of time with each ‘cast’ member before even thinking of typing the words ‘Chapter One’ on my manuscript.

Setting is important as well. To keep things consistent and detailed I write up a description of each setting. Sometimes it’s just a few words and other times it’s several pages long depending on the setting’s importance in the scene or story on a whole. Though, most of the details in the write ups are never used (Lord forbid…the poor reader would want to hang me for derailing the story for grocery lists of details – and rightly so I add!). Still, I find them infinitely important especially because most of my writing is serial work. I never know when the characters will go back to a certain place and readers are smart folk, they’ll call foul if the carpet was blue in Book One and mysteriously changed to pumpkin orange in Book Four.

After hours of intense writing, how do you unwind?

 Movies and wine! Movies have a special way of recharging my creative batteries because I can kick back, relax and be entertained. But they’re inspiring to me as well because the work, sweat, tears and dedication necessary to take a movie from Idea to Script to Finished Movie is arduous. Knowing that people of that caliber exist and make their dreams come true keeps me motivated.

Any current projects?

Two actually at different stages of development.

Book three of the Apparitions series is in pre-publication editing mode so I work on the edits my editor wants to see done when she doesn’t have the manuscript.

I’m also finishing up the character outlines and creating the story flow outline for a fantasy series. The world building is well underway and is expected to continue throughout the series entire. No rest for the wicked! Actual writing of the first draft is expected to start in early January 2011.

Where can folks learn more about your books and events? 

My website: http://www.ravenbower.com has a list of Events, links to the books and notices on upcoming or in progress works. My email is also on there in case anyone has questions or comments – love hearing from readers!

There’s also Facebook and a board at Horror World – links available at the Raven Bower site.

Raven, thanks for dropping by. Continued success! Bloggers, leave a comment for a free copy of my first novel, Genesis Beach.

 

Dialects, colloquialisms, and Slang

Are you a writer using dialects, colloquialisms, or slang in your writing? Peter Abresch is back to discuss this tricky task. If you find this article useful, please leave a comment and you'll be entered to win a free book.

Speaking in a dialect is part of our heritage in this polyglot country of immigrants, as well as speaking in colloquialisms and slang. Writing it in dialogue is a bit more tricky.


This is the subject of BookMarc #35

Dialogue - Part 4 of 4
For our writing to come alive it we must use the words to trigger our readers's imaginations and life experiences so that they build our world inside their heads. But in the end, our readers must use those imaginations and experiences to make it work. Putting dialect into dialogue requires more than the normal amount of this collaboration. Let's repeat a few sentences of the dinner scene from BookMarc #34.
He piled on food and carried it to the table.

1. "Hello, Jim," the black-haired Sana greeted in her sing-song India English, "We were indeed wondering if you would make it to tea."

2. "Made a quick trip into Bolder Harbor," he said, spreading lunch booty around his place setting. "Needed a sprayer."

3. "I'tis easy to see you believe in a hearty lunch."
I identify Sana's speech as India English to give the reader a clue to the lilt of the following sentence, "We were indeed wondering if you would make it to tea."
In addition to that, I use words that reflect the India English manner of speaking, such as "indeed" and using "tea" for dinner (or lunch) in sentence 1, and "I'tis" and "hearty" in sentence 3.
The trouble with using dialect is it has to sound right w/o using fractured words. Things like, "Why do dat gu' tret me that'a way," won't do it. At one time it might have, but today's reader won't spend the time deciphering it and could instead toss the book aside. Besides, it's intrusive. Our readers will stumble over it when we want them to be breezing along in easy reading. If we want to use dialect, or simulate a foreign language, we need to do it through word use and an altered sentence structure. Let me give you three examples which may not be the best, but will give you some idea:
"I should charge both a ya," Belinda said, the police chief's dark eyes shifting from Jim to Dodee, "but since you're leaving Friday, get outta here. But, hey." She held up a finger. "I'm going back home to bed. I don't wanna hear about you guys no more. Don't wanna be woken up no more. Don't wanna be drug out in the middle of the night no more. Knowhatamean?"
"May I help you, suh?" she asked, her voice dancing with the lilting inflection of the West Indies.

"I'm here for the Elderhostel," Jim said. "Is there still space for me to park my car?"

"Yes suh, what you must do, because this next street is one direction, go up to the second corna, take three rights and come back to the side of the hotel. If you will then honk your horn I shall raise the gate for you."
"So!" The word spit out of the darkness from the direction of a Gestapo Death's Head cap reflected in the flames from the fireplace. "Vhat did you find in the attic?"

Jon recognized the timbre of voice, but couldn't bring the tone into focus, as if a soprano was singing bass.

"Come, come, Herr General." The shadow in the black uniform was moving towards the door. "Have you suddenly got laryngitis? It is a simple question, yes? What was so interesting in the attic, hum? So interesting you kept me waiting?"

Did the guy have a gun?

"So," the black figure at the door now, "should I shoot you, mein General, hum?"

Oh, hell, he did have a gun.

"Or should I give you the spanking you deserve?"
The first is from BLOODY BONSAI and I got mixed reviews on the police woman. Some said she was the best character in the whole book, and others thought she was over the top with her "knowhatamean." The second is from its sequel, KILLING THYME. I did use a few altered words, outta and wanna in the first section of dialogue, and suh and corna in the second, but I don't think anyone will have trouble knowing and hearing them. I think a few obvious words sprinkled sparingly about will not slow the read, and they help with the inflection in a long conversation. You have to make the decision if that works.
The third example is from a pre-published novel of mine, one I still have hopes for. I think it is my best attempt at using altered English sentence structure, sprinkled with a few known German words, to simulate a character talking in German. I used "vhat" in the first piece of dialogue because I wanted to make sure the reader got it that the speech was in German, but switched back to "what" after that. Again, you have to be the judge if it works. BTW, anytime we use a foreign word it should be italicized, like mein.
Let me close out this section on dialogue with an English simulation of German written by a master, John le Carre from THE SILENT PILGRIM:
"Are you inadequate, Mr. Nobody? I think perhaps you are. In your occupation, that is normal. You should join us, Mr. Nobody. You should take lessons with us, and we shall convert you to our cause. Then you will be adequate."
Check out more of Peter's BookMarcs at http://www.easyreadingwriting.com/

More on Dialogue

I have read so many books that make me cringe with overuse of dialogue tags, so I'm glad that Peter Abresch has consented to discuss the issue with all of us who struggle with effective dialogue.
Welcome back, Peter.

Hello, Susan.
There are a few techniques to ease the burden of writing group dialogue, along with tags, beats, and body language. First a review from BookMarc 33, our last discussion.

Tags are particular words, actions, or mannerism that have been previously built into single character and are identified only with him/her. Beats are small bits of action specific to a scene. Finally, body language, self explained as any action and character uses such as a shrug.

Okay, let's check out a reworked and edited dinner scene from Bloody Bonsai as an example to point out how it is done given that the POV character is Jim Dandy:

He piled on food from the buffet line and carried it to the table.

1. "Hello, Jim." The black-haired Sana greeted him in her sing-song India English. "We were indeed wondering if you would make it to tea."

2. "Made a quick trip into Bolder Harbor," he said, spreading lunch booty around his place setting. "Needed a sprayer."

3. "I'tis easy to see you believe in a hardy lunch."

4. "A good lunch sets you right up for a good dinner." Smiles around the table and giggling from Tiffany Crew. "I'll do exercises for a couple of days to take it off."

5. "How about a week?" Dodee asked.

6. Kelly Massy nodded. "How about a month?"

7. "How about a year?" The female half of the Miettlinens gave a pursed lipped smile.

8. Clarence Harmoney forked in some potatoes and gravy, and turned to Simon Crew, "I'm in garbage. That is, I own a garbage company. So, you retired?"

9. "Semi-retired. I'm a stockbroker. No clients anymore, but I'm always working on my own portfolio."

10. "Uh huh. That how you met your wife, she a client of yours?"

11. Jim put down his fork. Clarence had asked the question they all entertained; if the twenty-something roommate was his wife.

12. Tiffany dabbed a napkin to her lips. "Not hardly."

13. "Actually"--Simon adjusted his hexagonal glasses and patted her hand--"I was a client of hers."
Let's break it down according to sentence number.

If we didn't know it was Jim Dandy with a plateful of food, we certainly knew it after line 1. In line 2 we don't need to identify him by name because he is responding, and the same for lines 3 and 4 because, even in a group setting around a table, the reader will assume the two are responding to one another until told differently. But if a different character does break in, the reader must be told, which is what happens on line 5 with Dodee identified by an attribute.

Two more speakers are brought in and identified with body language on lines 6 and 7.
We change speakers again on line 8 with a beat--potatoes and gravy--and body language--turn to Simon Crew–and this eliminates the need to identify who is speaking line 9. Also line 10 needs no identification because it is a response to line 9, the reader assuming these two will be talking to each other until told otherwise.

Line 11 is a bit of interior monologue of Jim, who is the POV character, to convey information.
Following this, on line 12 we identify Tiffany with a beat--dabs napkin to her lips--and finally Simon in line 13 with body language. Notice here had we fully developed the glasses tag for Simon, we might have gotten away with the man adjusted his hexagonal glasses.

We need to look at a few other dialogue bits in this scene. In # 2 we have a fractured sentence, and that's okay. We don't speak grammatically correct English and so our dialogue should reflect that. Our dialogue should also be a reflection of the character, the rough and tumble of Clarence's "I'm in garbage," in sentence 8, and the more refined Simon's use of "stockbroker, client, and portfolio" in 9. Our goal should be to make each dialogue bit so character-oriented that using it in itself will be an identifier. I don't think I'm there yet. Or ever will be.

To write dialogue in group scenes we have to render it down to the essentials. Real life dinner scenes are chaotic with everyone speaking at once. In fiction we report only the conversation between the main players, and even then we keep it down to those things necessary to advance the plot, add to the characterization, or give a sense of place. If we wanted to give it a sense of the chaos around the table, however, we could do that by inserting a line or two of body action and/or internal monologue.

"Hello, Jim." The black-haired Sana greeted him in her sing-song India English.

He saw her lips moving, but couldn't hear with the cacophony of kinves and forks clattering on plates and the buzz of conversation interspersed with laughter. He cupped his hand around his ear. "What was that?"

"I say, we were indeed wondering if you would make it to tea."

He nodded, spread his hands to indicate the noise in the place and leaned towards her. "Made a quick trip into Bolder Harbor. Needed a sprayer."
That would be enough to carry the idea in this short scene, but if it was longer we could add something similar eight or then lines down to touch it up a bit, remind readers of the noise.
Three things will help us with all dialogue, not just in a group. First, we need to try to make notes on stray conversations we hear, especially unusual words and sentence structure. Second, read our dialogue out loud and/or into a tape recorder. If it doesn't sound right, it won't read right. It either needs to be rewritten, or broken up. Third, somewhere between the first and last draft, pull out all the dialogue for each character as though it is a separate book, and read it contiguously for continuity. I know, that's a lot of work, but I never said writing was easy, just if we did it right it would be reading easy.

Notice that I've also used some dialect in sentences 1 and 3. We'll talk about using dialect, and using English to explain what is said in a foreign language in BookMarc #35.

If you would like to personally receive Peter's BookMarcs or check out some other discussions and the table of contents of upcoming BookMarcs, click on the BookMarc logo at: http://www.easyreadingwriting.com

J. Daniel Stanfield's Tales of the Faerevold Quittance

My guest today is J. Daniel Stanfield, author of Tales of the Faerevold Quittance.

J. Daniel Stanfield was born and raised in Boise, Idaho. He is a retired U.S. Army Officer. First, he was an enlisted soldier and non-commissioned officer along the former West German-Warsaw Pact border. After receiving his commission, he served in wide variety of Intelligence and Electronic Warfare positions. During his military career, he had the great honor and privilege to lead soldiers, and serve in the Fifth Special Forces Group, with Navy SEAL team 5, and as a Strategic Intelligence Officer for the Supreme Allied Commander Europe. He holds a Masters of Science and Doctorate in Business Administration, and has a passion for the arcane subjects of social and organizational design, grand strategy, and decision-making. He currently lives nears Kansas City, Kansas with his wife Christine and their menagerie of dogs and cats.

Happy New Year, Stan. Thanks for stopping by during this busy time to talk about your book.


Thanks, Susan.
What books came along at just the right time to influence your reading/writing?

The entire writings of Edgar Rice Burroughs; everything from the Tarzan to the John Carter of Mars series. I am also an fan of Asimov (I, Robot is a penultimate Science Fiction story), Robert A Heinlein (especially” Starship Troopers”, “The Cat Who Walks Through Walls and “Friday”, Larry Niven (His Kzin are absolutely fascinating, and I’d like to write about them someday), and of course, J.R.R.Tolkien.

What are your writing goals?

To create stories told well.

What is your most rewarding experience during the writing process?

Allowing my characters their own voices.

Tell us about your latest book. Is it available in print, ebook, and Kindle formats?

It is a hybrid of science fiction and fantasy, and currently only available as an e-book at Smashwords.com

How do you develop characters? Setting?


I am most interested in writing about the nature of mankind’s need for a forgiving God. Hence, my characters are flawed in important ways; others more significantly so.

Do you have specific techniques you use to develop the plot and stay on track?

I first outline, craft screen cards, and then finalize the project.

Describe your ideal reader.

My writings are ideally for college educated professionals between the early twenties and mid sixties.

After hours of intense writing, how do you unwind?

I am a simple man of simple pleasures. I unwind by talking with my wife, watching a decent game of college football, pheasant hunting with my bird dog, a cold beer, wargaming with my pals. Those sorts of things.

Any current projects?

Several are in the queue. I’ve just finished the screen cards for another science fiction-fantasy story. Plus, I have a story from my Army days I need to finish, a few parodies, plus the pre-quell and sequels in the Tales of the Faerevold series.

Where can folks learn more about your books and events?


Go to Smashwords.com and read and review my work. If they like it, I appreciate a recommendation. Interested people can find my events by following me on Twitter @gepaduex and / or gepaduex@blogspot.com

Thanks for telling us more about yourself and your writing. Have a wonderful New Year!

A Discussion about Dialogue

Peter Abresch has taken on the task of discussing dialogue, often one of the biggest challenges of writing fiction. Sit back and read what he has to say. Leave a comment if you'd like.

Happy New Year, Peter!


Let's talk about dialogue.

Susan, same to you! What can I tell you about dialogue? It has to ring true. It has to sound like real dialogue between people w/o it actually being a real conversation.
This is the subject of BookMarc #32

Dialogue - Part 1 of 4

Reporting a real conversation between people would bore our readers faster than a kid sliding down a greased pole.
"Good morning," Sally said.

"Good morning," Sam replied.

"And how are you this morning?" Sally interjected.

"Just fine," Sam exclaimed. "And how are you?"
Grease up the pole, Charlie, our readers are outta here. From this--which is real life dialogue, along with all the ah's and umm's and you-know's--we can see we have to doctor conversation so it sounds real, but render it down to get out the fat.
"Good morning," Sally said.

"Hi," Sam said. "Seen the morning paper?"
We bypass the mundane and jump right into action, yet we must keep the ring of authenticity. Dialogue must also be part of show. A sign of a rank amateur is to have two characters speak solely for the benefit of conveying information.
"As you know, Sally, Kumquats are our business. We are the biggest Kumquat processors in the world."

"Yes, I know that. And I hear the Kumquat crop has been devastated by drought this year, Sam."

"Yes, Sally. We might have to layoff half our staff."

"That will be a hardship on them, won't it Sam? Especially with Christmas coming on."
Give me a break. Telling is telling whether we have quotes around it or not. A dead give away is that "as you know," for if Sally already knows, why tell her? We can still convey information in dialogue, we just have to show it.

Sally looked at the worry lines on Sam's face. "What's bothering you?"

He shook his head and sighed, then nodded towards a big Christmas tree outside. "I have to lay off half my plant."

"Now? At this time of year--"

"Don't start." His jaw set. "You think I like it. We're reaping the benefit of last year's drought on the Kumquat crop. I either lay them off or go into bankruptcy, then we all lose."
Well, it might not be perfect, but you get the idea.
In the first example there is more wrong than just content. Look at the speaker attributes--she said, he replied, she interjected, and he exclaimed. These are also the mark of a rank amateur. In Ed McBain's AUDIO books, it bothers my wife to hear him use he/she said that might continue on for twenty lines. But for print, McBain is right on. Speaker attributes of he/she said disappears for readers as part of the quotes surrounding the dialogue. They never see it. The only thing that registers is who is speaking. But if you throw in a whole lot of exclaims and interjects they'll stand out like a squashed frog on a wall. Use he/she said or he/she asked all the time. Even the other way around said he/she calls attention to itself, although I find myself using it occasionally. Hey, I'm human.
Similarly, in the third example there is more wrong than just telling in dialogue. Notice how the two speakers keep using the other's name? Does that sound natural? If you just met someone you might repeat his name to remember it, and for the reader to remember it, that might get by. But between two people who know one another? It's another sign of the amateur. Always try to picture two people talking, then take out everything but the essentials to advance the story, add to characterization, or gives a sense of place.
BTW, continually using names in narration is just as clunky. After introducing the characters so the readers knows their names, use pronouns wherever your can, it brinks them closer to the reader.
Dialogue should make up 40 to 60 percent of our story, so we have to get it right.
 
Now, let's talk about using tags, beats, and body language as dialogue identifiers.

In BookMarc #32 we said we only wanted to use he/she-said for speaker attributes. But there are other ways to identify dialogue ownership.
This is the subject of BookMarc #33

Dialogue - Part 2 of 4
When we said we only wanted to use he/she-said for speaker attributes, we also want to use them w/o modifiers. This is obvious from what used to be called Tom Swifties from early 20th century books of the same name:
"I'm dying of thirst," Tom said dryly.

"We could freeze out here," Tom said coldly.
But the same can be said of using an adverb for an emotion:
"Now, Dear, we shouldn't be doing that," Sally said angrily.

"Let's go to bed together," Sally said shyly.
If the dialogue doesn't carry the emotion, a modifier won't cut it. It has to be rewritten. And if the dialogue does carry the emotion, the adverb is un-necessary and detracting:
"Cut that out," Sally said.

"I don't know how to put this, but, ah, maybe, um, sometime maybe we should maybe think about going to bed together," Sally said.
But there are some exceptions to using modifiers, like when we need to describe the volume of the dialogue:
"Keep in the shadows," he said softly (quietly, lowly).

"Keep in the shadows," he whispered.

"Watch out," he shouted.

Some writers disparage 'whisper,' but I use it because the one word conveys speaker volume. The same with shout or yell. Does that mean it's okay? I think any of the above examples work so long as they aren't overused. In a short scene, once is enough to set it up and the reader will assume an answer is also spoken in a whisper. We might want to use it a second time as a reminder for longer tracts. We also might tell how it sounds if it's important or character dependent, but even here we still use 'said.'
"I'm Senator Rafferty," he said, using the full imperial power of his sonorous voice.

Of course, if the dialogue is a question, 'ask' should be used instead of 'said.' I sometimes try to pose a rhetorical question using said, like--"Waddya say?" he said--but my last editor always changed it to ask, and, wanting to be published, I acquiesced. She insists, as well, I change 'till' to 'until' although both are valid, but TILL I have a best seller, I'll go along.

Tags, beats, and body language are also be used as a dialogue identifiers, especially in writing group scenes.
Tags are particular words, actions, or mannerism that have been previously built into single character. If George blinks nervously all the time, we can use the identifying tag when he reenters a scene--George came into the room, big eyes blinking away--or when he is speaking you can use the tag w/o the name:
"Why do that?" Blink, blink. "It's unnecessary."
Beats are small bits of action specific to a scene. If conversation takes place while repairing a car, it's logical to intersperse the dialogue with an identifying action:
"It is so necessary." John tightened the nuts on the engine block. "We'll never make it to Timbuktu unless it's fixed."
Finally, we can use body language as an identifier, a better indication of a character's true feelings than what he/she says, and we can use it either in concert or in conflict with the dialogue:
"Who wants to go get an ice cream?" Jim asked.

Jane stared sideways at Jim, her arms and legs crossed, hands clenched into fist-balls. "I'd love to go with you."

Sally's eyebrows arched. "I'll go, too." She leaned forward on her chair as if ready to spring to her feet.
Sally is obviously excited about going with Jim, but Jane, contradicting her dialog, probably wants nothing to do with it.
You can do a lot with body language. Sometimes you can replace dialogue with just a simple she nodded or he shook his head for obvious responses. But consider also of all the other facial and body actions that a character can use to indicate an action or moment of thought, how he stands, shrugs, leans against the wall, crosses arms, wrinkles his brow and turns down his lips. These body actions can be used as a dialogue identifier, a beat, and, if we have built up a specific action for a character, we can use it as a tag, as in the blink, blink above.
"I don't know." John rubbed his finger beside his nose twice in that peculiar action he does when he's unsure. "Tell you what." He pointed his finger. "Let's see how the ballistics match."
From this body language example it should be obvious John's dialogue is paused while he is thinking, and if John has done this a couple of times before, we can eliminate "in that peculiar action he does..." because it has become a tag for John. Now you might argue that it cost more words than just saying, John thought a moment, but body language says a lot about a character. Using it as I have here gives us the picture, it SHOWS us, it engages us as a real world action. Is it worth spending the words? Your decision. Me, I'd spend them.

Next time, we'll use speaker attributes, beats, tags, and body language to demonstrate an example of writing a dialogue scene among a group of characters.


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Whitfield Book Cover Award Winner

Congratulations to Shells Walter and artist Jerrod Brown for winning The Whitfield Book Cover Award. Anne Patrick's Fire and Ash came in close behind. Throughout the contest period, these two books sparred for first place. The two books are tremendously different in appearance, but both were attention-getters, to say the least.

Shells will receive The Whitfield Book Cover Award decal to use as she chooses, along with a copy of my latest mystery, Sin Creek, when it releases in a few weeks.

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