Mary L. Tabor: Sex After Sixty

 My guest today is Mary Tabor, author of (Re) Making Love, for those of us over 60.

Welcome to the blog, Mary. Tell us something about yourself that readers might be surprised to learn.

I say, It ain’t over till it’s over. I published my first book when I turned 60.

Congratulations!

How many books have you written?

Three: two published and one not: My first book is The Woman Who Never Cooked, connected stories Mid-List Press, winner of the First Series Award. I then wrote a novel entitled Who by Fire (excerpts have won prizes, but the book has not found a publisher yet. My most recent is the memoir (Re)Making Love: a sex after sixty story, published by the fab Anthony Policastro, CEO of Outer Banks Publishing Group.

What books or authors have influenced you?

 A: Nabokov, for the beauty of his prose, his love of games, and his depth of feeling. Speak, Memory is my favorite memoir. Joyce because of the humanity of Ulysses. Folks read all the glosses, try to get all the allusions and get mired in the complexity of the tale when its power is its pure simplicity: one day, two men, each on a separate long journey and a meeting that changes them both and the reader for ever.

 I don’t write like either of them but their power over me has been undeniable.

 What has been your most rewarding experience during the writing process?

My readers when the book was a blog: They shored me up. I forged ahead on the sea of their belief.

 Tell us about your latest release, (Re)Making Love.

 I wrote this memoir live as a blog while I was living it. My husband of 21 years, Oh so Greta Garbo said one day, “I need to live alone.” I cratered. And then I wrote. The journey of the good, the bad and the oh so foolish is my story. But ultimately, the journey turned into a love story I could never have imagined. In this way, the old saw truth is stranger than fiction became a reality.

Is it available in print, ebook, and Kindle formats?

Yes, all three. Check out Amazon here: http://amzn.to/nqg0yo but you can also read it on your iPad through Smashwords.

Were any of your books more challenging to write than the others?

The memoir was the most challenging because I left the cover of fiction. I do think all heartrending and deeply moving fictions come from the writer’s willingness to venture into the unconscious and that is true of my short stories and the unpublished novel. But with the cover of fiction, I could be as bare as I am in the memoir but never have to say it was true when much of it actually is. With the memoir, my heart, my life and stuff I would never tell you in conversation get revealed. It was hard to do but hard not to do. I suspect that paradox is the artist’s burden.

How do you develop characters?

All my writing begins with a character. Henry James in his preface to The Ambassadors talks of the novel’s “strong stake.” I think what he means is that we must know the trouble that drives the character, but the strong stake is ultimately the fullness of that character’s life on the page. In his preface to The Golden Bowl, he admits how he inexorably chooses to move closer. “There is no other participant, of course, than each of the real, the deeply involved and immersed and more or less bleeding participants….”

In the case of the memoir—and maybe all my work—I grapple with the question, Who am I?  Here’s something I say in the prologue of the memoir, now in its second edition, that might explain better what I mean:

For this second edition that comes now one year after its first publication, I would like to share with you as you embark on the journey of (Re)Making Love what I have learned about living within time’s limits from writing this book and from living beyond its first publication. Rabbi Hillel, who spoke these words 2,000 years ago, has been widely quoted ever since, perhaps most notably in my lifetime by the ilk of Primo Levi and Robert F. Kennedy.

 If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?

 Truly knowing what these words mean has come from the place of not knowing. And by this I mean that I have had to live this journey without the full understanding of their plain spoken sense. I have had to learn the hard way: through the good, the bad and the foolish that this memoir recounts.

 Where can folks learn more about your books and events?

My website: http://maryltabor.com

Blog: http://maryltabor.blogspot.com

FB: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mary-Tabor/125813534105239

Twitter: http://twitter/com/maryltabor

Continued success, Mary, and Merryu Christmas!

You too, Susan.

Author Doug Roberts Stops By For Hot Chocolate

Good morning, everyone! Don't you just love this cool air? I'm so excited that I made a pot of hot chocoate for myself and guest, Doug Roberts, author of  The Man Who Fooled SAVAK. Welcome to the blog, Doug. Have a cup of steaming hot chocolate.

Thanks, Susan. I believe I will.

The release of your book coincides rather well with Arab Spring.   When did you start writing it?

In the summer of  2008, a woman I’d met on line named Erica Murray was interested in Iran so I started writing to her about it.   I started doing some very preliminary research into the history and politics of Iran in 1971  in order  to refresh my memory of things I had experienced when I was in Iran during that time.   The book was completely finished several months before the uprising in Tunisia.

Even though that was 40 years ago, there are many common elements with what is happening across the Arab world. 

Yes, especially the fear people experience when living under an autocratic regime is something I hope I have captured, and as the book proceeds, the breaking out of that fear.  Perhaps it will give people hope.  Just like in my book, the methods used by various dictatorial regimes to maintain control seem to be taken from a common playbook:   trample a free and independent press, keep the people fooled, use an iron fist to silence dissent, eliminate fair trials, use torture to extract confessions, -- the list goes on and on.    

But when you wrote the book, you weren’t thinking about that. 

(laughs) True! I don’t have a crystal ball and the Arab Spring was as big a surprise to me as the rest of the world.  

Can I ask you about one of the characters in your book?  Was there really a Junior?

Yes there was.  I think Junior made the story possible to write.  We really did sell our liquor and cigarette rations to him.   I recently learned from a fellow who served in ARMISH/MAAG just before I arrived that Junior mostly dealt with the domestic workers, the Iranian nationals who worked at the bachelor quarters where we lived. 

I’d like to ask you about another character, Mihan Jazani.  She is a historical figure, the wife of the Bijan Jazani who founded one of Iran’s guerilla movements.   It appears that she’s a friend of yours on Facebook.   

(Blushes)  Um, well yes…so it would appear.   (laughs)  Actually, Mihan Jazani doesn’t like Facebook and never uses it.  The Facebook account was set up for Mihan by her granddaughter, Aida.  Aida and I exchange messages occasionally.    

 How were you able to remember so much about what happened then?  It was 40 years ago after all.

I was assisted in several ways.   I had some writings I had done about Iran when I was in journalism school at Kent State in 1972.  I had a large number of slides that I’d taken when I was there.  Those were crucial in reviving old memories.  A huge help was finding on line a 1977 map of Tehran on the (now defunct) Tehran American School website.  I was able to use the exact names of places, even street names.  The fellow I’d mentioned earlier who told me about Junior had sent me a copy of the ARMISH/MAAG directory, which was very useful.  Finally,  talking to people I worked with at that time was extremely important, namely Heidi Eftekhar and Barry Silver, who are characters in the story.  I obviously couldn’t remember all events specifically, but I found I could generate them as needed by being very specific in my language.  I would take seeds of ideas and extrapolate and grow them into full blown events.   For example, a certain lecherous officer really did say to Heidi, “I think you’re a woman who needs a lot of loving.”   I took that and ran with it.  Last but also important, the internet was a valuable tool in researching the historical incidents in the book. 

So, where does the novel part come in?

Some of the human rights related events are novelized, but they’re very accurate in their portrayal of the times.  I’ll leave historians to figure all that out.   They will have their work cut out for them  because I’ve spent a lot of effort weaving the story line into the history of those days.

How close is your character Doug Roberts to the way you actually are?

That’s a really good queston.  (laughs)  I had originally intended that Doug the character would be an extreme version of myself.   But after having read my book now over and over, I’ve come to see that what’s extreme are the circumstances he’s in.   Doug the character is a lot like I was back then: ok in the smarts department,  a little too cocky sometimes.  He’s not very romantic or knowledgeable about women, but does all right in spite of himself.  (laughs)   There’s an element of male fantasy in the book I suppose. In the story  I have two charming female lunch companions in addition to Fari my Iranian girlfriend/fiancée.

But you really were friends with Heidi Eftekhar your co-worker in the story. 

I still am.  Heidi and I communicate regularly by email and her input on the book was immensely helpful.   Miss Farou is the fantasy.   She actually didn’t like me all that much.  (laughs).

I get the impression you had a lot of fun writing your book.

It was pretty trippy for me at times.  I would totally submerse myself in it.  For example, I had written the scene describing how I spent New Year’s Eve in Iran just a couple of weeks after New Year’s Eve in real life.   When someone asked me about how I’d spent my New Years, it shocked me as to how much effort I had to put into pulling up what I’d actually done versus what I’d just written.   That was a little scary.

What do you think people will get out of your book?

I’m sure everyone will get a little something different, but what I’d like for people to take from it is that, like in the story, life may present you with some extreme circumstances.  When that happens, keep a level head and your wits about you.  Try to see beyond what appears to be happening on the surface.  There will always be some good things happening at any given moment. Try to focus on that.  To get through your ordeal it’s a good idea to engage all your friends to help you and your faith if you have that.  Most important of all:  never give up. 

Doug, it's been a pleasure to have you here. I wish you the best of luck with The Man Who Fooled SAVAK.

Thank you, Susan.Doug's book is available online in ebook format. You may contact him through OuterBanksPublishing.com